This is Your Birthday Pony

My birthday is this week, and, while I'm not one for celebrating overmuch, it does seem like a good time to reflect on the happenings of the past year. It's a wistful season, fall, and I'm at home in it, be-sweatered and nostalgic and optimistic, slightly, in spite of everything. I thought, on this quiet Tuesday evening, we might briefly chronicle a series of mishaps that spread themselves out across the last twelve months or so, but remain lodged in my memory as much for the frustration they produce as their frequency. And so, then, here is this: a comprehensive list of the things I dropped peanut butter toast on in my 25th year on earth. I have placed an asterisk next to those things on which a slice of toast landed exciting side down.

Laptop (2x)
Bed*
Stapler*
Boxer Shorts
Garbage Can*
Plate (This was the best one)
Rabbit* (This was the saddest one)
Foot*